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Gun Control

I think it is wonderful that the government wants to protect us from ourselves. But, there is even a more deadly object out there that claims more lives and creates more injuies than guns. We call it furniture. More people are injured, killed and sent to the hospital by being hit with furniture, falling over furniture, or having furniture dropped on them than guns. Thus, I propose we ban furniture and replace it with pillows.

According to my Bible, The Bathroom Reader, there are only 5,276 pillow related injuries that require a visit to the emergency room. I know of no deaths. But, deaths cannot be far behind.

Another serious threat is nose picking. After all, that probing is done with an object near the brain. I have no statistics for nose picking injuries, probably because most go unreported because it would embarrassing to report the cause of bleeding noses and brain injuries.

I'm sure, that at some time after the guns are done away with, there will be a new push to protect us from dangerous nose picking. That will require that we tape our index and pinky fingers to our palms.

At some future date when these bans are in place, there will be a new world. A bad guy breaks into my house. I will not have a gun. He/she will not have a gun. I won't be able to pick up a table leg and beat him/her because I have no furniture and 2 of my digits will be tapped in place. We will have no choice but to each grab a pillow between our two palms and duke it out until one or the other falls to the floor from exhaustion.

That brings up the hazard of having a floor which is a hard object, but that is another story.

So, if anybody sees this, let me know at aclownmailbox-kathyberan@yahoo.com Otherwise, I will write no more.